From the shadows of the RAP mansion (aka Weatherell's Wigwam) a smallish (and surprisingly Dutchie-free) hash group with Spiderwoman sporting some leg warmers on her forearms, took off for the Saturday trot through the countryside. Bessy was nursing a recent surgical wound but was in top maniacal form. The trail set by Krishna, Spiderwoman, and Amir involved mostly running, some long false trails, several river crossings and Bagmati turd-spottings, and a novel rule set by Million$Visa that only people under 45 years must ‘check it out’. Half the Scholars joined us, but made a quick getaway afterwards on his bike – a fatal mistake given the spread of food on offer.

The circle was slow to form as a feeding frenzy broke out. Faces were stuffed with apple cake, carrot cake, superb chang provided by Tibet Gal (luckily HeBitch was out of the country or he would have guzzled the lot), those crunchy little Tibetan bread thingys, and a special treat – momos-of-joy, as well as the usual crowd-pleasers from Durga. Some verbal abuse from the GM (“form a circle YOU BASTARDS!!”) finally gathered everyone together for the formalities.

The vote for the trail was at least a 9.9– despite the dubious nature of some of the crosses- well done Hares.

A decent effort of beer-sculling was made by the aproned momo chefs
The warmer weather meant far fewer wankers, however there was one half-wank spotted.

Christian earned the Hash Name of “Dead in the Water” to reflect the nature of his work on the constitution and the GM’s outlook for Nepal, and I was named “Lady Chatterly” which I ‘spose is better than “Gasbags” or something like that.

Returnee Hinesh broke his new year’s resolution for the second time and attended the Hash as a walker.

Million$Visa smashed a beer as he couldn't get the top of quick enough.

The GM was Hashit for not being able to find another suitable criminal despite his attempts to convince Hinesh that drink-driving in Nepal was perfectly fine, especially with blue number plates.

More momo-gorging followed as there was ample food for all thanks to the absence of those piggy Dutchies.

PS at the GM’s request I will include a small selection of topics of conversation of Subtlecock (Anna) and I during the run which I am sure you will agree are riveting:

How to cook soy beans
The availability of fake tan in Nepal
My married colleague’s 6 girlfriends
Constipation
Facemasks
Waterbombs and the danger of getting groped during Holi if we went to Delhi
Gymnastics
The process of making bricks (thanks RAP host)
And the Constitution (thanks Christian)